Going through a divorce can be a stressful and emotional process, even if the break-up is on friendly terms. In that regard, if no one disagrees about the division of assets, it can seem superfluous to retain a lawyer. An attorney can seem like a complicating factor or unnecessary expense rather than a helpful tool. This is a totally understandable position. However, as observed by Hoover Penrod PLC in Virginia, some states have extremely complicated statutes making it difficult to finalize a divorce without an attorney present.
In most cases, friendly divorces will be worked out in an out-of-court mediation process, but they can sometimes escalate if there are complications. Even so, many mediators suggest that both parties seek out legal advice during the mediation process. Thus, it is advisable to hire an experienced attorney in order to prevent unnecessary legal complications from getting in the way of smooth divorce proceedings.
Mediation Experience
Since most friendly divorces start out in mediation, it’s important to find a lawyer who is familiar with the mediation process and who will advocate for you while also fostering a safe and collaborative environment. Divorce attorneys are generally trained to be single-minded supporters of their client’s position. However, in mediation, the goal is somewhat different because the mediator wants both parties to take the other party’s point of view into consideration.
The Consultation with a Divorce Lawyer
To that end, your initial consultation with your attorney is very important, as this is a chance for you to understand the lawyer’s point of view and his or her level of experience. When you first consult with an attorney, be sure to inquire about his history with mediation. Ask whether he has special training for mediation and/or divorce. Even if he lacks specific training, try to get a sense of his history with dispute-resolution and his attitude toward that process. If they appear open to collaboration and seem to have been sensitive to the needs of their previous clients, then this is a good sign that they will fare well in mediation.
Finding a lawyer can be daunting, but there are resources out there that facilitate the search for legal help. One such source is your State Bar, which usually has a referral service. Friends and family are also good referral sources.
Being Prepared for Mediation
There are a few things a lawyer can do for you in mediation. For starters, anything written down – that is, anything that you need to sign – should be reviewed by your attorney. Beyond that, an attorney can be there as an expert to help ensure that there aren’t any legal obstacles in your way as you work with your ex-partner toward resolving the divorce. Additionally, a skilled mediation lawyer will understand that the beginning phase of mediation is often the hardest, as pointed out by J. Richard Kulerski and Kari Cornelison of the Huffington Post. And, finally, once the mediation process reaches a close, an attorney will be very useful for processing the divorce so that it is recognized in the eyes of the law.
Being Prepared for the Worst
Friendly divorces can backfire for any number of reasons: boundaries can break down, one party might feel like he or she is being taken advantage of, or feelings can get hurt. To that end, Psychology Today has published an insightful article offering advice for maintaining affability during a friendly divorce.
But since over 90 percent of divorces settle out-of-court, the odds are in your favor that the situation won’t escalate to a court battle. Nonetheless, to reiterate, it’s a good idea to have an attorney, both for the reasons stated above and just in case the divorce moves to court.
